Eris

Eris was six weeks into a grueling tour of dives across America's bloated midsection when she was discovered by Andrew Palomar, founder of Starchart Records. He signed her immediately and within two months her first CD, Apple of Discord, was on the shelves and garnering mixed reviews. The problem was one as old as the record industry itself: how to classify an artist who defies labels. Was she Dolly Parton meets Bjork or was she more Patti Smith meets Kate Bush? Neither the reviewers nor her label could decide.

Enter the IAU, the Improbable Artists Union. Their job is to find a nice neat box in which to place the multi-genred of the world and that is precisely what they tried to do for Eris. She was thus dubbed Lesser Punk Diva, a sub-strata classification of Dwarf Diva. But, like her namesake, Eris caused her higher-ups great strife. She began to mix in elements of Edith Piaf, Laura Nyro and Asha Bohsle. Her orbit became so elliptical, no one knew what to make of her. All but her early CDs became relegated to discount bins, then became collectors items and eventually were all but forgotten. As for Eris herself, she eventually changed her name back to Xena and relocated to the dark and distant land of Periphia, where she gave birth to a daughter, Dysnomia. The apple didn't fall too far from the tree, as Dysnomia in later years became lead singer for the internationally acclaimed goth- metal band, Demons of Lucy Lawlessness.