Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Thor, Loki & Sif

It was Thursday and Thor was tired. He'd been up for 23 days preparing for battle. Lesser gods were coming by at all hours to demand they be fitted for armor, thrusting their bent and broken shields toward him, tossing coins on the table. There was a time Thor's hammer only produced lightning, while Thor's booming voice made thunder that shook the heavens. That was before that confounded knave Loki stole his thunder. These days he's lucky to throw off a few sparks and embers while slaving away in Odin's overpriced rental smithy.

And what has Loki done with the thunder? He's used it to create diversions to cover his nefarious deeds. A little rolling peal, the gods look up and never notice he's turned into a salmon and is heading downstream after stealing the breath from their children. The gall of the cur. There will come a time Loki will go too far. He'll slay the god of light or some such thing. The agony he'll endure as a result will cause earthquakes and he'll wish - just wish - he'd made off with Thor's hammer as well.

So along about noon here came Sif, her hair shorn to nubs and tears flowing. She moaned to Thor how Loki had posed as her hairdresser and proceeded to relieve her of her golden locks. That did it, as far as Thor was concerned. He set out to find the trickster in order to teach him a lesson. Sif retired to an Uppsalan cave to await regrowth.

Thor found Loki engaged in fornication with a griffin. He parted the two and throttled the one. Loki gave in and Thor demanded restitution. What could Loki do? He could turn into a bat and fly away, but Thor would have to turn loose his neck to do so, and that wasn't likely to happen. He proposed a deal. He'd hire dwarves to weave a golden wig, each strand of which would be imbued with magic the like of which had never been known. It would be hair truly worthy of the gods.

"What about my thunder?" boomed Thor. At the same instant occurred a crack of thunder so loud as to jolt the grip of Thor, and Loki was gone.

No comments: