Sunday, October 08, 2006

The King Who Couldn't Make Up His Mind

Once there was a king who couldn't make up his mind as to whether his kingdom should be real or imaginary.

If his kingdom were real, he could hold intelligent two-way conversations with a wide range of subordinates and subjects. They could produce real goods that he could commodify and trade with neighboring kingdoms for more real goods which he could in turn sell to his subjects. He would become wealthy beyond all imagining.

But if his kingdom were imaginary, he wouldn't need to listen to the inevitable harping of his subordinates and subjects. He could imagine they were singing his praises and extolling his virtues. And while the goods his subjects produced were the stuff of dreams, surely there was a market in other lands for such ephemera. He was certain he would become wealthy beyond all imagining.

He let his subjects know of his dilemma. They were none too keen on being put to work producing real goods in order to make their king richer than he already was, which was a hell of a lot richer than any of them were. Thinking that the profit margin on unreal goods was lower than that of real goods and that it would be much easier on them to produce things that didn't exist, they opted for the imaginary kingdom. That was good enough for the king. He changed the name of the kingdom to Hollywood, put his subjects to work 22 hours a day, broke up the unions, and made a killing selling nothing to nobodies. In this way he became wealthy beyond all imagining.

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