Hansel and Gretel

Once a widower sawyer wed a hag, his boy and girl her bane. The shrew made the father lead the children deep into the wood. Hansel scattered crumbs. They tired and lay down. When they awoke, they were alone. The crumbs had been eaten. Animals howled.

Hallucinating gingerbread, they started to eat a house, but it was the witch's. She led them in with more substantial fare. Hansel, in shackles was dungeoned. Gretel was made to fatten him for the kill. The oven was stoked, Gretel coaxed to adjust the flame from within, played dumb, requested a demonstation, was obliged.

Iron clanged and black witch smoke rose.

The children found the jewels all witches possess and make a beeline to... Hold on. Where? Home? You're kidding. First of all they're lost in a crumbless forest. Almost any direction would be wrong. And why why WHY would they want to return to the loving arms of their father, the man who LEDTHEMINTOTHEFUCKINGWOODSTODIE? Ninkumpoops.