Thursday, June 22, 2006

Dear Citizen,

Did you know there is an established order in place for this general locality? Perhaps you did not. Maybe you recently moved here from some other locality and things where you come from are done differently. This notice is to inform you of a specific breach of the social etiquette in which you recently engaged, possibly without noticing. While our local board of management understands that it takes time for citizens to learn new rules, we feel you have had sufficient time to acquaint yourself with them, and as such, find you in violation.

Rule number 401D of the Garbage and Recycled Products Collection Act 0f 2003 outlines the types of products accepted for deposit in residential recycling receptacles. No deviation from this list is allowed. It should be quite clear that nowhere on this list are items marked "small green army men, crouching with rifle." Yet, just such an item was found in a receptacle on the date of June 12, 2006 located in your driveway. Please be aware that we take such violations seriously. Alien objects can gum up the works here in our sorting plant, causing unnecessary delays in production. They also pose a threat to the safety of our workers.

This is a friendly warning that you cease and desist the activity described above and/or any other similarly unallowed activities. Any future violations will result in denial of services and possible prosecution. Thank you

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