Stones

That was not a pipe. These are not stones.

The King Who Couldn't Make Up His Mind

Once there was a king who couldn't make up his mind as to whether his kingdom should be real or imaginary.

If his kingdom were real, he could hold intelligent two-way conversations with a wide range of subordinates and subjects. They could produce real goods that he could commodify and trade with neighboring kingdoms for more real goods which he could in turn sell to his subjects. He would become wealthy beyond all imagining.

But if his kingdom were imaginary, he wouldn't need to listen to the inevitable harping of his subordinates and subjects. He could imagine they were singing his praises and extolling his virtues. And while the goods his subjects produced were the stuff of dreams, surely there was a market in other lands for such ephemera. He was certain he would become wealthy beyond all imagining.

He let his subjects know of his dilemma. They were none too keen on being put to work producing real goods in order to make their king richer than he already was, which was a hell of a lot richer than any of them were. Thinking that the profit margin on unreal goods was lower than that of real goods and that it would be much easier on them to produce things that didn't exist, they opted for the imaginary kingdom. That was good enough for the king. He changed the name of the kingdom to Hollywood, put his subjects to work 22 hours a day, broke up the unions, and made a killing selling nothing to nobodies. In this way he became wealthy beyond all imagining.

Koreans Face Off

South Koreans fired warning shots over the heads of North Korean soldiers today at the demilitarized zone between the two countries.

From the BBC:
"One Southern military source, speaking anonymously to The Associated Press, said it was unclear whether the intrusion was 'intentional or whether it was to catch fish'."

"We saw them advancing and it appeared they were armed with long, narrow poles of some sort," the source went on to say. "They could have been fishing poles, but they might just have well been some kind of new-fangled rifle. Then, when we saw they were also equipped with woven rattan baskets attached to their waists, we figured they might be carrying radio controlled mini-nukes and that the pole-like things might be antennae for the trigger system. You never know."

After being fired upon, the North Korean soldiers retreated the thirty yards back to their side of the DMZ, possibly to regroup and rethink their strategy.

Tension has been high between the two countries ever since this week's announcement from North Korea that it was preparing to test a nuclear weapon. South Koreans have been told to be on the lookout for suspicious activity, such as incoming rockets or young North Koreans with nuclear bombs strapped to their bodies.

Pope Freaks

Pope Ben Edict freaked today when he learned limbo abolishment, or 'limbolishment' in the coloquial terms of the day, shall soon be the order of it - the day, that is - as well as the letter of the law.

"Oh woe betide us all" he is said to have moaned on learning that dead unbaptised babies will be made homeless once kicked out of Limbo Land. He expressed his concerns to a luncheon of popeseekers this afternoon thusly:

"We're not about to condemn the poor little souless tykes to the fiery pits of Hell, now are we? Of course not. But you can bet we aren't letting them join the country club either, if you catch my drift. So Heaven's out, Hell's out, Limbo's out.. what's left? Guantanamo?"

Buddhacocoon

Siddhartha's father emptied his vaults to lavishly furnish a palace for his son, who was prophecied to be king or Buddha, take your pick. Dad chose king. He might have put the money to better use. The castle became a jewel-encrusted cocoon, Siddhartha Gautama nestled therein.

Singing, dancing, laughing child actors were paid to play their joyous roles. Crying and yelling were made capital crimes. Echoes of some muffled blues were once heard but mistaken for honky-tonk.

Excursioning out from the palace, Sid came upon four passing sights.








An old man, a sick man and a corpse taught him of change, decay and inevitability. And a mendicant monk taught him of his destiny. All to the same end. He gave it all up and readied himself for a nap beneath the Bodhi Tree. He awoke without resplendence, the Buddha.

Unknown

At least, his identity was unknown until Bluggle Stumply filled me in. It seems this is Neville Crabs. See comment.

Note to all: Please feel free to identify those personages lacking stories.

Flicker

Flicker begat der guterwax
Und slotian dumorth ach soot.

October

October leads you into the woods like a park ranger. He draws your attention to juniper, thrush, laurel and chipmunk. Enthralled, you follow. It gets a little darker, a little cooler. What's green turns olive, gold and brown. He points out salamanders, mushrooms. You kick aside fallen leaves. The path narrows. That's deadly nightshade. There's something with black wings flying fast toward you. You duck. Never mind that, here's witch's snuff.

Pretty soon it drizzles. You slow down to avoid the webs and vines. October moves on ahead of you and is soon out of view. The path is now less a path, more a series of choices you have to make. Briar patch, no. Swampy area, no. Chasm, no... It rains. Gets darker. Something canine barks and howls. A flash of lightning, the crack of thunder. Bushes and trees grow arms, the wind waves them around at you. Thorns tear into your flesh. It's getting harder to pull your feet out of the mud. The smell of your sweat and blood catches the wind and carries.

Never get swept up by October.

Tarqeq

The Inuit look to Tarqeq, the moon spirit, to keep them on the straight and narrow. For Tarqeq, from his perch, can spot those gone astray and nudge them back onto the path.

But when the Man in the Moon is sleeping and the night sky is dark but for stars, all bets are off. Forget the full moon; it's the new one that produces mad poets and fools.