Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Three Glyphs of Midge

Largely, even hugely forgotten are the Three Glyphs of Midge. Once revered in Midgian lore for their purported powers to heal carbuncles, they fell out of favor in the seventh century with the arrival of leeches from the Orient. Ironic, isn't it? That the glyphs should disappear, but their odes and paeans should be sung for centuries. Long after every smidge of Midge was wiped out, drunks went on toasting and singing the same old song. They came to believe Midge was a young buxom lass, and so some women were so named. Meanwhile, the glyphs were entombed in a barber's burial vault in Outer Slobovia for some twelve hundred years, until discovered by tomb raiders disguised as archeologists, sold to Nazis, auctioned at Christie's, and purchased by a wealthy Brazilian plastic surgeon, who put them back to use, not in healing carbuncles, but in removing ass fat.

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