object lesson

First, make sure the object is an actual thing and not some damn picture of a thing. Or, worse yet, a three dimensional carving of the thing in soapstone or balsa wood.

Then, measure it. Top to bottom, side to side, fore and aft. It might be a good idea to make sure it’s not alive. It could bite.

Next, weigh it and take a guess as to where it comes from. Go ahead; it doesn’t matter if you’re wrong. It’ll still be here.

Finally, ignore it. Because, you know, it’s only an object. You should be trying to answer the deep, philosophical questions and not be wasting your time on such junk.