Me

My lawyer thought it would be a good idea if I came clean and admitted that my real name is not Al E.Yus after all. You may have surmised that already.
My real name is Jay King and this a photograph of me.
I might add that it was my lawyer's idea in the first place to disguise my identity. He thought my professional reputation could be jeopardized by the pablum I put down here. In fact, he convinced me that if I were to take down all the j-pegs and gifs of my subjects and substitute them with silly models, we might avoid libel and slander suits. Naturally, I protested, being the hard-hitting journalist I am. But to placate his fears, I acquiesced.
Now, he wants me to stand up for myself. And so I shall, your honor. From this point on, I shall be representing myself.