Monday, June 30, 2008

Octavia

The story Octavia told and the way she told it made the lot of us break camp.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Khanty Shaman

Forced deeper into the forest,
he tuned his nature to that of nature.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Hiisi

The hiisi gets a bad rap. It's rare that folks even think of him anymore, but when they do, they think of an evil little wood sprite ready and willing to push a climber over a cliff. He wasn't always that. Once he was a god. Once he was prayed to in secret forest groves. Once those groves became known as hiisi and hiisi became known as trouble. And that was that.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Sigfred

700 ships full of Vikings lay seige to Paris in 885.
Sigfred drove the engine of war.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Last of the Monongahelans

As to what became of the Monongahela tribe, it is widely speculated the canoes they used to transport their steel ingots would constantly sink to the bottom of the Monongahela River, taking the aforementioned Monongahelans with them.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Senoi Dream Mask

Such masks are not used to control dreams. Rather they're given to western anthropologists to wear in order to control their desire to control the dreams of the Senoi.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Simple Simon

So this kid by the name of Simon meets a pieman going to the fair. Major red flag. The two rhyme. Simon, pieman: an obvious literary ploy. The whole thing could be made up. If not, I suspect this Simon kid already knew the pieman. Probably followed him to the fair. Ever think of that?

Well, this Simon, did I mention he's said to be simple? Crafted his image that way, is what. So he says to the pieman, "Let me taste your ware." That's Simplish for pie. The pieman says to Simon, "Show me first your penny," either meaning Simon's sister Penny, implicating both of them in a pimp/john conspiracy, or that's the price of the pie. Seems pretty cheap to me, but it is a buyer's market. So, get this. The simpleton says to the pieman, "Sir, I have not any." Meaning either that he's an only child or he's broke. Either way, he's misrepresented himself and isn't near as simple as he's led on. I'm sure the rolling of the vendor comes in the next verse. I mean, look at him. Does he look honest to you?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Pepto Miasmal

Extreme bilious unction,
the dry heaves before the porcelain altar.

Monday, June 16, 2008

True Story 12

In my early teens, I lived to steal. Petty thefts, I thought. Things lifted from unlocked cars. Glovebox contents. Toll change. Then things escalated; I wanted tools. Tools could be sold. Everybody wanted them. Seems there were lots of people out there using tools. Folks I could sell to. Folks I could steal from. What were they doing with all these tools, I wondered. Fixing things? Making things? It took awhile, but it slowly dawned on me that whatever they were doing with tools was a far site more than I was doing with them.

Robert Bobble

You remember him. His was the first bobblehead. He willed it to his grandchildren. It was a nasty, unhealthy thing. But they seemed to enjoy it.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

zookeeper

You can see you've upset the zookeeper.
I advise you to not attempt another escape.

Friday, June 13, 2008

weatherman

Smooth sailing or a rough go is what's in store for the next few days. You decide.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Sven Torvaldsen

"Slap-Skating Blur On His Way To Vancouver in 2010"
- headline in the Oslo Morgenposten

Incan Elvis

Found under rock dust, 1912,
Temple of Sun Studios, Machu Picchu.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Smug Ugly

On past the chemical bonfires you'll find the ragtag lean-tos of the Smug Uglies. Don't expect to find them there, though. It's league bowling night.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

elder mantis mantra

The mantese hold their old close.
High in the rank of honor goes age.
themanteseholdtheiroldclose
highintherankofhonorgoesage
(repeat as necessary)

Monday, June 09, 2008

profprank

The professor thinks back more and more these days on the prankster he was as a young man, and wonders what fun he could trade his tenure for.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Sarah

New kids learned fast that all the games were played by Sarah's rules.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Monday, June 02, 2008

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Subway Angel

Her night vision once guided escaped slaves along the underground railway. Now it guides the Lexington Avenue Express to the Bronx.