Monday, June 11, 2007

Meerjus Nafloom



Meerjus is the point man for the Katastrian Cartel. He can spot a double cross in the dark. Law he just smells. Make sure you're upwind.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Sleep Story 4

What an Art Show! Sculptures, paintings, every item cataloged ended up buried in the collapsing walls. So did the people viewing it, myself included. It was painless enough, a performance piece. We simply dusted ourselves off. A great underground chase ensued, but all this was yesterday and I forgot.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Will Rogers 2



If you want to be successful, it's just this simple.

Know what you are doing.
Love what you are doing.
And believe in what you are doing.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Calvin Karnate

One transmogrification too many and the spurning of Susie Derkins forced an early retirement on Calvin. At nine years of age, he made his way to Sikkim and entered the Rumtek Monastery as a starter monk. He is in bliss there still.

Hobbes followed his friend as far as Cooch Behar, where he met a Bengal who was summering there and fell in her thrall. They now live in the Sunderbans.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

John Rae

By boot leather, snowshoe, boat or dogsled, John Rae's ice capades were without rival. Four of his expeditions four years either side of 1850 wrote the map for much of Canada. Still, he was disdained by the Royal Navy for his reliance on native Inuit survival skills. If he could just emulate his predecessor, Sir John Franklin. Poor Franklin...

On that last one out, Rae found bits and pieces of Franklin's lost expedition. Silverware. Franklin's men, had set off on foot carrying silverware. Poisoned by lead soldered food tins, sick with scurvy, but at least they had the captain's silverware. The Inuit told Rae of the last of the men resorting to cannibalism, news that didn't exactly go over big back in England, a country devoid of statues erected to Rae. Plenty to Franklin, though.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Vogon Jeltz


A Po-Em by Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz:

Rumbly burps belching forth
In extreme noxiousness
Bring the faithful to their knees
To clean up the mess.
Oh crabcakes!
I remember your taste!
(A bit fishy, but not bad overall.)
You there! Wipe off my shoe.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Quib Sprock Sitters

Hunt Craig's List from now 'til doomsday and you'll not find a more qualified babysitter this side of the Milky Way than the Quib Sprocks of 47 Ursae Majoris. Known for their storytelling prowess, their cuddlability, and their innate kiddie radar, Quib Sprocks consistently rank highest in the Galactic Au Pere Review. Hire one today.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Lost Lost Boy

There was a sixth Lost Boy, so lost he was outside the boundaries of Neverland, beyond its suburbs even. He was lost somewhere in Netherland, or rather, nowhere there. He was dumped so long ago he hadn't yet been named. What would he have done with a name, having no one to call him?

Peter knew all the while he was out there. He wanted to tell the others on those nights when they felt most alone, so they'd know there was at least one lost boy more lost than they. But he knew he couldn't. It would break their hearts.

Once Peter finds a Darling home for the five, he'll return for the lost Lost Boy. It might take forever, but there will be plenty of time.

Friday, June 01, 2007

HornEars


Why would you let wi-fi waves pass right through you when with a set of iTech HornEars you could tap into the datastream?

Knowledge and trivia await you; harness the power of the internets using aluminum foil!