Friday, February 29, 2008

Princess Neary

Gold and natural pearl brooch, circa.... oh, hoo-ey.
It's Fimo, enhanced.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Chucklesferatu

The saddest tale of all is that of Chucklesferatu,
Vampire Clown.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Orc

"Then, one day, Uncle Eugene...he, like... turns into... an orc."

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Fish Girl

Fish Girl is a claymation character based on the girlfish, a saltwater fish believed to be the inspiration for mermaids. Don't believe any of it.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Antagones

Greek anti-hero who tortured his hero brother Protagones who escaped, became king and tortured Antagones right back again, justifying torture in the process.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Tychopodrian

Tychopodrians hold on to what time they have left on their doomed orb in the Whirlpool Galaxy.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Neolithicritter

Quite possibly a carving of a Neolithic Chinese farm animal;
a horse or a cow or maybe a dog.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Geosimian


The first unearthed geosimian evoked a "whoa!" from geologists and anthropologists alike and got them scratching their noggins. They didn't at all know what to make of the thing. Replacement fossil of a shrunken ancestor? A rock that just looked like a higher primate? A carved effigy? If so, carved by who?

Then, the things started turning up everywhere. People began finding them in fieldstone walls, in cliffs, among river gravel. They were in ocean jetties, the monuments to our war dead, Indian mounds.

Of course, the more spiritually inclined either saw god at work or the devil at play. The stones were said to be revealed, revered and reviled, usually in that order.

It soon became apparent that interspecies mingling was occurring in the rocks. Men and monkeys were breeding with reptiles and insects. It was all too much for religion and science both, so, in a way, what happened next had to happen. Geosimians were written off the books as outmoded, imaginative theory, not worthy of consideration. So they disappeared. Blended right back into the stratum.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Andy Jackson from his Twenty Dollar Bill

Be brazen. Be obvious. Be manifest in your destiny.
To tame. To settle. To democratize. To own.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Siren

If the song of the bird women was not that of the wind,
sailors might avoid the rocks.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Uncle Cornelius

I just hope Uncle Cornelius isn't there.
He'll ask me to pull his finger, for sure.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Twiggish

Residual effects of Mod modeling.

U.S. To Shoot Down Space Station

The US military is planning to shoot down the International Space Station in the next few weeks, the Pentagon announced today.

Citing outmoded technology and a deteriorating orbit, General Theodore Smedley suggested NASA consider evacuating the space structure as soon as possible. In a briefing to reporters this afternoon, he said, "Atlantis is up there now, so this weekend ought to be a good time to get them the hell out of there."

General Smedley went on to list some of the dangerous chemicals and gasses that would be released into the atmosphere in the event that the space station crashed to earth without the assistance of rocket-propelled explosives. Radon and formaldehyde were chief among them. There is also the possibility of the massive structure falling on a school or a hospital.

"We must be proactive about this thing," he said. "Potential lives are at stake."

Once the astronauts are evacuated, the plan entails launching a missile from the deck of a US Navy ship. Because the size of the space station warrants a considerable payload, the Pentagon is opting for a medium sized nuclear ordnance. President Bush has expressed an interest in attending the launch and may actually push the launch button.

"He's quite excited about it," said Smedley. "Of course, we all are. I mean, it's not every day you get to do something of this magnitude. It'll be a hell of a thing to see."

Several scientists and scientific organizations have gone on record opposing the destruction of the space station, but they are largely European and their protests will likely be dismissed.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Fantastic Fifth

Who knew? In the beginning they were the Fantastic Five. Archie Gluck was the odd man out in those early pilot issues that never went to press. But, oh! the storyboards!

Archie was "Reader" - equipped with the Mask of Knowing. Nothing escaped his observation, armed as he was with the ability to read minds and portents alike. Quite a handy guy to have around. Only the Human Torch didn't see it that way. Johnnie Storm didn't like having his mind read. Blank as it was, it projected nothing that could be gleaned, which is why Reader never saw that tossed flame bolt coming.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Melicertes

As usual, Hera was pissed. Ino and her man Athamas had raised that no good bastard drunken son of Zeus, Dionysus, without her being able to so much as smite him. So naturally, she had to drive Athamas mad and come after Ino.

Now, Ino had a young son, Melicertes. Suddenly fatherless, Melicertes was as suddenly scooped up by his ma and became airborne, flung by and with her over the side of a seaside cliff.

The resulting impact upon the water turned mother and son into goddess (Leucothea) and god (Palaemon). Together they found themseles worshipped as sea gods. Palaemon (nee Melicertes) rode fishback in order to rescue drowning sailors.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Mandrake


The vile underground semblance of phallus or figure akimbo in semaphore denoting Beware This Juju! - its features ever so slightly resembling someone you know but can't put your finger on. But a spell.... that's another matter.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Thaumaturge

Affect the numerical order, the proper hierarchy,
and you'll affect the outcome in the material plane.
Thaumaturgy.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Bunyip

Being bitten by a bunyip brings about bad billabongability.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Grobmeyer's Picture

We heard the impact and came running. There was a whistling sound before the crash, so we figured it weren't no car, but something out of the sky, a Piper Cub, or one of those cropdusters that spray the rice. Sure enough, there was a contrail above the tree line, ending in smoke. Then we saw the hole.

Must've been thirty or forty foot acrost. Grobmeyer had his camera phone, so started in taking pictures. Grobmeyer's all the time snapping pictures of anything that crosses his path. He got a tornado a couple years back and sold it to the Seven Action News Team. Fifty bucks.

So here Grobmeyer's ready to jump in this hot, smoking hole. I say "Whoa! Grobmeyer! You ain't got no business going in there! What if-" But that's all I get in before he's IN the infernal hole and out of sight. In no time I hear him yell "Hot damn!" and his flash goes off.

I can't rightly say what happened next, Officer. Whatever went in that hole came out again in a real hurry. Knocked me down to the ground. When I came to, there weren't hide nor hair to be found of Grobmeyer, but his camera phone was lying in the burned grass. This was the last picture on it. I figure it's worth a few bucks, don't you?

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Monday, February 04, 2008

Zipa

The Zipa was chosen, anointed with gold mud and set adrift by raft. Midlake, he offered goods for the gods, casting golden animals, silver vessels, and emeralds overboard, while bonfires raged all along the shoreline.

And so the lie of El Dorado was born. European imaginations went wild and crusades of plunder followed. There were few returns on their atrocities, however, since the Muisca were traders, not miners.

Swirl Girls


Sunday, February 03, 2008

Two Drunks

Four drinks in, you're his best friend in the world.
But six gets you a fight.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Sleep Story 5

I'm attending afternoon services at a crowded church, trying to find a good vantage point toward the back. Testimony is being presented up front, by way of video. I catch sight of a sign out the window and realize it is a Seventh Day Adventist church. I'm considering how like any other Protestant church service I've attended this one seems when I realize I'm wearing my pajama bottoms with pick-up trucks all over them and they need washing to boot. I'm more curious about this than embarrassed.

Afterwards, I'm sitting in the passenger seat of the pastor's vehicle and we're heading toward his home. He's explaining how tolerant his congregation is by using my attire and their lack of concern as an example. We arrive at his home, where he excuses himself to go inside for a few moments. I wait and plan a follow-up question about what it is he feels sets his church apart from all the others.

My eyes are suddenly drawn to movement in a tree off to my right. A buzzard reveals itself there, staring groundward, menacingly. I see a dog in the bushes, trying not to be seen. It's a large dog, but mangy and obviously not in good health. It scurries out from under the bush. The vulture pursues it, pecking at the dog's back. This is repeated several times, from bush to bush. The dog is getting tired. The bird swoops one last time, but this time the dog spins and leaps up, catching the buzzard's scrawny neck in his jaws and tearing off its head. The bird lands on its feet. It walks around a bit, aimlessly; I assume it's wondering what happened to its head. Then it dies.

Yes, but what does it mean?

Friday, February 01, 2008