Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Geosimian


The first unearthed geosimian evoked a "whoa!" from geologists and anthropologists alike and got them scratching their noggins. They didn't at all know what to make of the thing. Replacement fossil of a shrunken ancestor? A rock that just looked like a higher primate? A carved effigy? If so, carved by who?

Then, the things started turning up everywhere. People began finding them in fieldstone walls, in cliffs, among river gravel. They were in ocean jetties, the monuments to our war dead, Indian mounds.

Of course, the more spiritually inclined either saw god at work or the devil at play. The stones were said to be revealed, revered and reviled, usually in that order.

It soon became apparent that interspecies mingling was occurring in the rocks. Men and monkeys were breeding with reptiles and insects. It was all too much for religion and science both, so, in a way, what happened next had to happen. Geosimians were written off the books as outmoded, imaginative theory, not worthy of consideration. So they disappeared. Blended right back into the stratum.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

The scientists have it wrong, as usual. The entire point of evolution is to outgrow our zoo/geo/logical preconceptions. That primates have been depicted in litographic form is not the issue; that primates evolved enough to actually mate with rocks and create offspring is the next obvious step in evolution. Unfortunately for us, those geosimians that we have found are not replacement fossils, but fossils themselves. The race of geosimians has long left the planet, forseeing the humans' cockroachlike ability to breed in swarms and infect everything around them to the point of environmental destruction. Soiling their nest, it seems. Some say they went to Venus, some report communications with them from other planes within the ether. My own experience is that they'd rather not have anything to do with humans, and, as a member of the Trigoolian Ectocouncil, I strongly agree. I would go so far as to say that no one should have contact with humans under any circumstances, and that includes other humans. It would go a long way to solving a host of problems.


And the proper usage, is, of course, "carved by whom."

Jay King said...

I spit in the general direction of your whom. But as for the rest of what you have to say, I'll not argue with a member of the Trigoolian Ectocouncil.

Anonymous said...

Hi, glad to find your page. I found a button/pin in my dad's stuff when I was cleaning out his desk and he doesn't remember where it came from, but it is at least 30 years old. It has a line drawing of a primate poking at a computer keyboard, with an image of a peeled banana on the monitor, and text says
EVOLVE WITH US!
WORLD GEOSIMIANS

LOL what does it mean and where could it possibly have come from???