Outdigenous

When the last Tanu Kopi arrived in Miami Beach by skiff from the Amazon rainforest, the language died and the customs were lost, but the city gained one hell of a blowdart hunter.

Baby Confabulator

Want to know what your tyke's thinking? Ask your behavioral specialist about the Baby Confabulator. There's no need to wait until your toddler learns to talk; by that time he'll have learned how to lie anyway. Just hook him up to the Confabulator and communicate with the little booger, one on one. Let him clue you in as to what it's like being an infant. You'll be amazed! Start teaching him right from wrong, while you still have his attention.

You can even program the Confabulator to introduce new experiences to your baby. You say he's never parachuted from a plane? Never completed medical school? Never found true love? The Confabulator can bestow these experiences on your kid, and he'll have memories that will last a lifetime. And they'll be your memories, too.

Cloud Scout

Hiring a cloud scout is the only way to get through the Fledgionic Soot of Regulus 3. Interstellar debris is so thick within 600 quarceps of Alpha Leonis A, it takes a highly skilled dust dodger to avoid a deadly collision. The best of the scouts are the Quiffles, equipped as they are with matter-sensing jowl snouts. And the best of the Quiffles is this fellow, I forget his name. But no matter - he''s not available, in any case. Can I interest you in an Acme DustDrone?

Jack B.

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack fell into a vat of fuming nitric acid.

St. Ignatz

Oh, yeah. It's All Saints Day.
Here's one. It's Saint Ignatz. Professed his mortal love to a goddess, who spurned him. Martyred by bricks.

Spook Number One

Dick Cheney, government operative.

Spook 2

Spook 3

Spook 4