Impalert

Airport Security: What's this?
Me: Excuse me?
Airport Security: This. What is it?
Me: That's a box of shadows.
Airport Security: A what?
Me: A box of shadows.
Airport Security: Open it.
Me: I mustn't.
Airport Security: I said Open It. Now.
Me: That would not be a good idea.
Airport Security: Hand it back. I'll open it.
Me: I don't recommend you do that.
Airport Security: Sir, step aside here. I'm going to ask you to spread your legs and hold your arms out to your sides.
Me: Oh, for heaven's sake..
Airport Security (into walkie talkie): Gate to base. I have a code 7.... Roger that.
Me: Am I...?
Airport Security: Detained. Yes sir. I don't think you'll be making your flight. Now, I'm going to ask you once more: What is in the box?
Me: I told you. Shadows. See for yourself.


Airport Security: It's empty.
Me: If you say so.
Airport Security: Hold on. There's something moving... Jesus Christ! What in the hell...?
Me: It's just an imp.
Airport Security: A what?
Me: An imp. A harmless imp. They hide in the shadows.
Airport Security (into walkie talkie): Gate to base. We have a situation here. Attempt to board with some sort of wildlife.. a creature of some kind.... I'm not sure. It looks like... a... tiny... human.... About four inches tall.... No, I'm not kidding... OW! It bit my finger!
Me: I told you it wouldn't be a good idea to open the box. Now look; you've dropped it.
Airport Security (into walkie talkie): Gate to base. Code Red. Repeat, Code Red. Terrorist loose in the terminal.
Imp: Fascist!