Goolie Bird

Native to the Mamberamo river region of Papua, the goolie bird has long been the stuff of legend. No living ornithologists have seen one, but elderly mudmen claim to have evoked their spirits and made them manifest back in the day. They say the birds' mating ritual was a thing to behold with the male prancing and preening and flashing his festoons and the female coquettishly displaying her hindquarters. Their eventual union kept natives awake for hours, if not days.

Although incapable of flight, the goolie bird was not aware of this fact and so tried incessantly to take wing, only to fall in a heap at the feet of hunting parties, who in turn made short work of them. Which is why there's so few of them left.

Not that they're extinct, mind you. Those same ornithologists have captured the goolie's unique cry on tape and altogether marvel at its dintonation. Here, then, is the song of the goolie bird.