Male subject was recovered from local rock garden. Arrived not only badly mangled and dented, but petrified as well. Morgue attendants baffled. Owners of rock garden said he came with the place. Two previous owners claimed the same.Local newspaper wrote human interest story, interviewed local university archeology professor. She examined corpse/mummy/fossil and determined it to be Marcus Quidillus, Roman senator who was last seen on August 23rd, 79 AD taking the thermal baths in Pompeii. How he arrived in Cincinnati is a mystery.
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