The Great and Powerful Decider today said that "failure would be a disaster." To prove his point, he launched a battery of Success rockets in the enemy's direction, somewhere over there.
Perhaps it was just an odd coincidence, but in Moline, Illinois on this very day, disastrologists from around the world were gathered for their annual convention. Immediately on hearing the presidential pronouncement, they set to work in groups of four to study the matter. Breaking for lunch, the general consensus was about 65-35 in the Decider's favor, but the afternoon sessions resulted in the tables being turned. By unanimous vote at the end of the day it was determined that failure may indeed be a disaster, but it was much more likely that disaster would end in failure.
A poll is being taken among the country's leading failurologists to find out what they have to say on the matter.
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