2007 out

Out with the brown..

Dr. Phineas Mungo

The esteemed father of cranial embellishment.

Vartouche Muktana

One does not quash nibblies this side of Pureck Thu 

without obtaining express blizale from Vartouche Muktana. 

If one tries, one dies.

Shelley

Bust of Percy Bysshe Shelley sculpted in driftrock on that Tuscany shore, then cast to the sea as his pyre burned. Oh, lift me as a wave, a leaf, a cloud! Speculation has it his doppelgänger, who had warned him of his death a month earlier, was the sculptor. Tell that its sculptor well those passions read which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things.. and hear the sea breathe o'er my dying brain its last monotony.

Christmas Cookie

ummmmm

Candy

Yummy Christmas candy

Slim Fly Teeter

Byron Werner

Monick'd Space Age Bachelor Pad Music, spangles mandalas and is half of Rural War Room.

Pope Giuseppe I

Lesser known still is Pope Giuseppe I, whose papacy lasted only a day and a half in 1829. It took that long for the Council of Cardinals to realize the vicar they elected had been dead for six days. His reign, although brief, was noted for its equanimity.

Police Sketch

Here is an artists' rendition of the suspect,
based on eyewitness accounts of LSD purchasers.

Brownie

Take heed how you gift a brownie. If he feels it's a payoff for his favors, he'll be gone in a trice.
(And don't make fun of his nose, either.)

Thespian

Thus, the thespian thought the thunder theatrical.

Kyume Yoolow

All nimbus were the cirrostrats...

Nefertiti

For Nefertiti, all the old gods were so 17th Dynasty. Ra, the sun hawk, was dead. The sun disc, Aten, was the New God, the One Worthy God. Nefertiti and the Pharoah changed their names to represent the new order, accepted from all Egypt prayers on Aten's behalf.

Cthudoo

Barnacle Bill

Any port in the storm will come due.

Howard Anatidae

Trapped in a world he never made.

Whipsnade

This here's one a them Whipsnade boys.
Can't rightly tell which one as they all look alike.

Jungle Warrior

Aeolus

How a floating island can contain deep caverns, I sure as hell don't know - but Aeolia had them and they were jam-packed with gusts and gales and even a zephyr or two. Aeolus, a man of winds, dealt them out as need be at the bidding of Olympus.

Some such wind blew in Odysseus's ship and they bivouacked there awhile. When the time finally came to shove off, Aeolus presented to Odysseus a leather bag containing every breeze but the one that blows from the west. They sailed east.

One may wonder how they made it as far as they did, but eventually they came in sight of their home shores. It was then the crew got to wondering what sort of plunder the captain was hiding in the bag, so they opened it and released the winds. The sails filled and the ship was off again. When Aeolus heard, he wasn't amused, as the misuse of wind was a serious matter in those days. He refused to deal out anymore of the stuff, and so becalmed, the crew had to eat a lot of beans to get moving again. In the wrong direction, of course.

Gloria

Burrow Grub

100X anterior view of Sumatran Burrow Grub (nasutus unguiferous)

Tina

Tina thought often of her father and his flights of fancy. Her father thought of those flights as well, only to him there was nothing fancy about them. They were just the daily mail runs between Cardiff and Cherbourg. Tina hoped his turboprop reveries would keep him young.

Tommy Tupper Toy

Recalled due to excessive amounts of decomposition dust.

Morgue Arrival H

Subject was male between 30 and 60. Recovered from marshy fen. Ninety percent of skin devoured by flesh-eating bacteria; much of muscular system also eaten away. Able to determine that little of the damage occurred post mortem. Surmise final hours somewhat unpleasant.

Elmont Cruft

Norma Floy

Norma Floy, actress, dancer and victim of Decoflapperosis,
a side effect of the Lindy Hop.

Meth in the Madness

Tyland Heffelschmidt

Wanted: Ionian Rebel

The Parts Requisition Department of ZynCorp posts this snap of an unidentified Ionian rebel caught on camera during a recent armed robbery at the central facility. Anyone with information as to the rebel's identity or the whereabouts of eight shipping pods containing bio-electronic components is urged to contact ZynCorp or the local authorities.

Camo Face Paint

Sure, you can hit the duck blind camo'd head to toe, but if your face is exposed, you'll be a dead giveaway. Birds ain't dumb, you know. Next time you go hunting, arm yourself. Wear our Camo Face Paint and hide your ugly mug.
(Available in Snow, Woodland, Jungle and Desert Storm.)

Clone Cocoon

Here, lab-grown stem cells hatch replacement skin.

Young Master Spock

Eos

Wearing her feathered headdress and flower-woven robe, Eos rides her chariot across the morning sky, briefly exposing Heaven by revealing the Dawn. Her sister Selene wanes, her brother Helios rises. Venus, the morning star, looks on and approves.

Although a real looker, Eos (Aurora to Rome) was forced to kidnap many of her lovers. She bore them all the major winds, the planets, and most of the stars. When her kids fail to visit or write, she cries. Her tears are the morning dew.

Odd Child

Aunt Harriet

I'm on my way to Aunt Harriet's. If her Thanksgiving Day spread is anything like last years or the twenty-seven before that, I can look forward to Spam, boiled potatoes, pickled beets and jellied figs. I've got my stomach staple story down pat.

Serge Gainsbourg

Laid back est l'homme à tête de chou.

Country Pop

Father of Our Country, George Washiguana.

Morgue Arrival G

The less said about this John Doe, the better.

Peter Jones

The Witness Protection Program has done well by Peter Jones.

Lumberjack

Not all lumberjacks are okay.

Mt. Orson

Mercury Theatre Founder's Lysergic Likeness
Carved Into Painted Hills To Promote RKO Blockbuster.

Ona

Remember that Lithuanian princess? Ona, I think her name was. No, you wouldn't remember her, would you? You're too young. Trust me, thirty or forty years ago there was a Lithuanian princess, name of Ona. She came to Spokane, no one knows why, but she got the red carpet treatment. Far as I can recall, she was the highest born royalty these parts had seen since, well, ever.

Anyhow, they had her all decked out in the Davenport and folks came from miles around just to gawk at her. She wore silver moire under a gold lamé cape which she didn't mind flourishing for effect. When the spotlights hit her, men went blind. She danced with the bedazzled and charmed each out of their wallets. The GDP of Lithuania spiked that year.

Evie

Afterwards, I couldn't look at her without the knowledge that she knew something I didn't.

X-Ray

The latest disturbance in the nightmare that is my life came this week when I viewed this x-ray my family doctor took of my shadow. I had no idea such a dark and frightening visage was following me around. I fear it harbors evil intent. From now on, I'll venture outdoors only on cloudy days.

Zapotec Fetish

alabaster cloud person

Green Man 2