The Parts Requisition Department of ZynCorp posts this snap of an unidentified Ionian rebel caught on camera during a recent armed robbery at the central facility. Anyone with information as to the rebel's identity or the whereabouts of eight shipping pods containing bio-electronic components is urged to contact ZynCorp or the local authorities.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Wanted: Ionian Rebel
The Parts Requisition Department of ZynCorp posts this snap of an unidentified Ionian rebel caught on camera during a recent armed robbery at the central facility. Anyone with information as to the rebel's identity or the whereabouts of eight shipping pods containing bio-electronic components is urged to contact ZynCorp or the local authorities.
As a member of The Ionian People's Revolutionary Army (hereafter referred to as IPRA), I take extreme exception to your posting a photo of our exalted brother in arms (EBIA). I must warn you that you have become a target of a Bomb Of Others' Means (BOOM) and that you will subsequently be destroyed (YSBD). Thank you for you continuing support (YCS).
ReplyDeletePay no attention to the idiot Vel Shardnsklurg! He and his brothers in arms (AHBIA) does not represent the Ionians! Only we, The People's Revolutionary Army of Ionia (TPRAOI) can do that! Subsequently, we shall detroy you because of your pathetic attempt (DYBOYPA) to rat out our brother (ROOB). Then we shall all die gloriously in an interspecies war to end all wars(DGIAIWTEAW). Up the Ionian People!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the time I led a section, as it were, Up the Ionian - River, that is - in hot pursuit of four of the dastardly insurgents, suspected, if I recall correctly, of plotting to petition for grievances. They may have been with the IPRA, or they may have been with the PRAOI, or they may have just been a bunch of hellion sprats from the Ionian Middle School, I don't seem to remember, it being back in '47 or '48, and that being, what? sixty years or so ago... My word, the years do fly by, don't they?
ReplyDeleteIn any event, we had them cornered in a canyon and were proceeding to flush them out like quail, when - wouldn't you know it? - our panoply of armaments came to the end of their supply of munitions. In other words, you see, we ran out of bullets. Any lesser troop of Her Majesty's command would have sent for reinforcements, but not my men, stout lads of courage all. I ordered bayonets drawn and followed our quarry into a cave opening, where the rebels had fallen back in a pathetic attempt to elude us.
I can still recall to this day the plop plop plop of of water drip drip dripping all around us as we wended our way forward and down, into the darkness. We could hear deep in the bowels of the earth indeterminate songs being whistled and what sounded like whispered sniggers and chuckles. Those guttersnipes were clearly up to no good, no good at all.
I won't go into detail describing the ensuing encounter since military matters are hush hush, top secret and all that. You may rest assured, however, that my men displayed the utmost in daring-do and resolve, and though in the end we took no prisoners, three of our surviving party later received Distinguished Conduct Medals for a job jolly well done. Cheerio.