The nightmare is over for the Zort family. Their recently abducted 18 month old son, Kenneth, has been found."It's a miracle," intoned the child's grandmother, Gladys P. Hogschnabel. "He hasn't a scratch on him. Well, one on his cheek. And a few needle marks, but not bad overall."
Last seen three weeks ago when his mother tucked him in for nighty-nights, it is assumed some unknown interloper made off with the infant through an upstairs bedroom window. Neighbors reported seeing a bright light and hearing a theremin, but police could find no footprints or evidence of a ladder being used, even though it had been raining for two days. Chief Frank Dingleberry was baffled.
"Frankly, I'm baffled," he was quoted (here) as saying. "But at least he's home and safe. He has a new hat, too"
The boy's father, Terrence Zort, speculated that Kenny just "wandered off somewhere." He is, of course, glad to have him back, and even happier about what he perceives as his son's new outlook on life.
"He used to be kind of a moody kid. Had a mind of his own. Now he just smiles and does whatever you tell him to do."
This reporter left the Zort household under the watchful eyes of little Kenny Zort, certain that things have returned to normal at 17 Willow Drive.
2 comments:
YOU FOOLS.
I have new knowledge, new understanding, and powers within me that will enslave all of you.
My parents are already under my control, as are the idiot police in this smelly little burg. The town is very close to becoming my personal teat, and when I've sucked it dry, the county and state are next.
Then Comes YOU.
I expect to be elected president soon. Perhaps I already have. I dunno. I'll have to check my retro-calendar.
All Hail the Zort! Zort is all!
WE ARE ALL ZORT!!!!!
zort zort zort zort zort zort................................................................................................zort
The above does not reflect the views of the management.
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