Generic President

Hi. I'm your stern but caring Generic President, Thomas Abraham Washingtaft, and I'm here to tell you that this Generic Presidents' Day they're SLASHING PRICES on the Already Everyday Low Prices at your friendly neighborhood BIG BOXMART. Take it from me and all the other no-name Free World leaders, there are some UNIMPEACHABLY GREAT DEALS on your favorite generic products. You can't afford to VETO this chance to drive up the national debt. Just charge it! And remember the generic words of the White Bread POTUS: "Ask not a crook what fear itself should fool all the people and carry a big stick; ask the business of America to tear down this price of freedom is on the march."
You've earned your Political Capital... Now SPEND it!