Apparently I've been misusing that term for years. I always thought it described the sounds my stomach makes when I'm hungry.
"I began to worry when the rest of the patients in the waiting room noticed my audible erkling."
I suppose I need to walk into the forest more.
This brings up a question of philosophy. Namely,how far can I walk into the forest?
The standard answer, of course, is halfway. Any further distance would be walking OUT of the forest.
This is, however, incorrect. Halfawy INTO the forest is not ALL the way in, and all the way in is the point where I would be walking OUT. Therefore halfway in is only a quarter of the way THROUGH.
Therefore the answer is not halfway in, but ALL the way in.
Unless there's an erkling involved. Then my exit is questionable.
The whole of this conversation makes my stomach growl.
You'll be pleased, I'm sure, to learn your audible erkling can proceed as scheduled. The deadly forest spirit is erlking, not erkling. A bit harder to pronounce, but easier on the digestive track. If you live in or near Bavarian woods, you prefer not to pronounce its name at all, as this might provoke it.
As for your forest walking theory, I see it differently. I believe it is impossible to judge how far one can walk into the woods, because one is bound to become disoriented, tripped up by vines, scratched by briars, and generally lost as shit. At which point one doesn't give a rat's ass how far is IN, one only wants OUT, and out is a hell of a long way off. And don't give me that stuff about bread crumbs, either. Any bread crumbs are seen as appetizers by the ravenous beasts who dwell there. You may as well sit down, be very still, and listen intently for their erkling.
You see how the human eye makes things into what it wants as opposed to what is really there? Past associations with letter positions should be blamed. Shame on them, then on me.
I did once see a wheelbarrow floating on the wind in a pickup truck bed while traveling at high speed, but my mind overruled my eyes and told me it was a piece of paper because it MOVED like a piece of paper. Just before the slipstream caught it and caused a huge pileup.
Follow him into the forest and
Apparently I've been misusing that term for years. I always thought it described the sounds my stomach makes when I'm hungry.
ReplyDelete"I began to worry when the rest of the patients in the waiting room noticed my audible erkling."
I suppose I need to walk into the forest more.
This brings up a question of philosophy. Namely,how far can I walk into the forest?
The standard answer, of course, is halfway. Any further distance would be walking OUT of the forest.
This is, however, incorrect. Halfawy INTO the forest is not ALL the way in, and all the way in is the point where I would be walking OUT. Therefore halfway in is only a quarter of the way THROUGH.
Therefore the answer is not halfway in, but ALL the way in.
Unless there's an erkling involved. Then my exit is questionable.
The whole of this conversation makes my stomach growl.
You'll be pleased, I'm sure, to learn your audible erkling can proceed as scheduled. The deadly forest spirit is erlking, not erkling. A bit harder to pronounce, but easier on the digestive track. If you live in or near Bavarian woods, you prefer not to pronounce its name at all, as this might provoke it.
ReplyDeleteAs for your forest walking theory, I see it differently. I believe it is impossible to judge how far one can walk into the woods, because one is bound to become disoriented, tripped up by vines, scratched by briars, and generally lost as shit. At which point one doesn't give a rat's ass how far is IN, one only wants OUT, and out is a hell of a long way off. And don't give me that stuff about bread crumbs, either. Any bread crumbs are seen as appetizers by the ravenous beasts who dwell there. You may as well sit down, be very still, and listen intently for their erkling.
You see how the human eye makes things into what it wants as opposed to what is really there? Past associations with letter positions should be blamed. Shame on them, then on me.
ReplyDeleteI did once see a wheelbarrow floating on the wind in a pickup truck bed while traveling at high speed, but my mind overruled my eyes and told me it was a piece of paper because it MOVED like a piece of paper. Just before the slipstream caught it and caused a huge pileup.
I'd better keep my eyes peeled. Even when I read.
ewww... peeled eyes... gross.
ReplyDelete