Pirates Hijack Space Station

Somalian pirates, under the command of legendary marauder, Abu Kathar, have hijacked the International Space Station and are currently steering it and its crew to the port of Eyl.

It is believed Kathar and his band of buccaneers were stowaways on board the shuttle Endeavor, which docked with the space station yesterday. All astronauts on board both vessels are said to be safe and unharmed.

No ransom demands have yet been made, although Kathar, in preliminary communication with NASA, has reportedly made inquiries into the Troubled Asset Relief Program, saying if there's money available to bail out the 'Big Three' automakers, there should be money to pay for the space station.