Yardley

Yardley's twin brother died six years ago. Yardley visited the grave every day for five of those years. Last year, for the sake of convenience, they switched places.

Zaphod Beeblebrox

He's just this guy, you know?
One hoopy frood.
(This is his better head.)

Milo 7

Voodoo Milo

Abe Vigoda

still alive

Aldred of the Grimsby Moors

Master of the lance charge well before the Statute of Arms.

Morgue Arrival L

It appears subject's Adam's apple became erect, requiring tracheotomy. Instead, he was run over by a threshing machine.

ADD/SAD Scanners Sought

Schools are rushing to be equipped with the new portable scanners that can detect Attention Deficit and Season Affective Disorders in students' brains. Here, a clearly affected child is color coded using the new technology.

Bodey

Don't disturb Bodey. He's unbalanced.

ruminant rodent

possibly a camel squirrel cub

Optimus Prime Meridian

Eventually, he'll take on the Decepticons.
In the mean time, he'll set the clocks.

torn boy skin

Uncle Ralph

Thanksgiving is next week. We'll see Uncle Ralph again. Hope he brings his spit can.

Pirates Hijack Space Station

Somalian pirates, under the command of legendary marauder, Abu Kathar, have hijacked the International Space Station and are currently steering it and its crew to the port of Eyl.

It is believed Kathar and his band of buccaneers were stowaways on board the shuttle Endeavor, which docked with the space station yesterday. All astronauts on board both vessels are said to be safe and unharmed.

No ransom demands have yet been made, although Kathar, in preliminary communication with NASA, has reportedly made inquiries into the Troubled Asset Relief Program, saying if there's money available to bail out the 'Big Three' automakers, there should be money to pay for the space station.

ingot stub

Chalcolithic ingot stub embedded with verdigris platelets

chupaconejo

The lack of pointy incisors leads me to believe this is, in fact, a chupaconejo; part chupacabra, part rabbit.

Hera

Eaten and vomited by her father. Sister and (what the hell) wife to Zeus. A generally pissed off goddess. Tricked and tortured Zeus's many mistresses, turning them into all manner of creatures. Annoyed Heracles, her stepson, to no end. Worshiped in temples for eons by mortals with an axe to grind.

Mr. Potatohead

Mr. Potatohead's liposuction was somewhat less than successful.

X

I'm captioned out.

Midas

When food and drink went gold on touch, Midas got his servants to feed him. They'd hold up a turkey leg for him to chew, or pour wine down his gullet. Clumsy, but doable.

Sex was a problem at first. Just ask the queen. Uh, never mind, she can't answer. His concubines adjusted, however.

What got him into trouble in the end was that infernal childhood habit of picking his nose.

Saint Thérèse

each of us a little flower strewn in the little way

Thelonius

That crazy metronome only he could hear. Those notes that never got paired together til he came along.

pseudo jinzo

ritual Bhutanese jinzo mask, in all, if not some, probablilty

other self

Likeness in padouk of some other self

Tiph Durk

Mir osk fic nobus wab, stiv cruftopoon.

Bill Sikes

Hung about the squalid rookery.

Pixie 2

A pixie wants nothing more than to do a wee bit o' dust and dance in the shadow of a mushroom. And maybe ride your horse when you're not around.

Bad Doll

The Doll That Had To Be Destroyed

St. Piran

For All Saints Day, here's the Cornish-Irish abbot. They bound him to a mill stone and rolled him off a cliff and into the roiling sea. Being mostly pure, he floated and rode the waves ashore, hallelujah. Thus, surfing was born.