A handheld brain scanner that doubles as a camera phone, e-mailer and mp3 player has become the latest product to conceivably blow the iPhone to Kingdom Come. Dubbed the iProbe, the diminutive device was exhibited for the first time today in Zurich, Switzerland to an anxious crowd of reporters, techies and CIA types.
Dr. Pepto Schmaltz, famed neurologist and CEO of Acme Brain Reading Technologies Inc., explained how recent breakthroughs in the science of brain scanning have made it possible for anyone and everyone to know what everyone else is thinking at any given time.
"Think of it. Who among us doesn't yearn to know what thoughts our bosses or our spouses or our children are having? Why, the ramifications are staggering."
Schmaltz went on at length to describe a world where TVs switch channels, not by remote control, but by thought. A world where data enters computers in sentences thought, not letters typed. A world where criminals can be arrested before they commit their crimes.
Dr. Schmaltz even speculated how future upgrades to the iProbe will contain phones that automatically connect to the person the caller envisions. Indeed, the phone and e-mail functions may soon become entirely outmoded, as the caller will be able to send his own probed brain signals directly to the one called, just so long as the second party has a device of his own to receive them.
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