A Solution to the Korean Crisis

"Yo, Jong!"
""Say, wha?"
"Is that you, Dear Leader?"
"No go by Dear Leader anymore."
"No? Peerless Leader?"
"No Peerless. No Dear Father. Now just General Secretary of Worker's Party."
"Oh. Demoted, huh?"
"No, not... Who is this?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"Who?"
"Right."
"What?"
"Not what. Hu. Hu Jintao."
"Oh. Hu. Why you not say so? How you been?"
"Not bad. Yourself?"
"Not too good, myself."
"Oh?"
"Just a touch of radiation poisoning. No big deal."
"Yeah, about that..."
"I know, I know. You don't like our new bomb."
"Hey, it's nothing personal. It was kinda puny, though."
"Next one will be bigger, I promise. So why you vote to impose sanctions, declare war?"
"Whoa, hold on there, Oh Mighty One. We don't want war."
"Too late. You side with American dogs. We at war with China. We at war with Russia, Japan, whole world. Especially USA."
"Funny you should mention the USA. I just got off the phone with Bill Clinton. He offered you a deal."
"Wait a minute. Bill Clinton is not president. George Bush is president."
"Yes, but George Bush won't talk one-on-one, you know that. Bill Clinton is still willing to talk one-on-one."
"Hmmm. So what does Bill Clinton have to say?"
"He says if you give up your existing weapons, allow inspectors in and agree not to pursue a nuclear weapons program at any time in the future, the U.S. will make it worth your while."
"I heard that one before. They bring us into the 21st century. They send us medicine, pizza, sushi.."
"All that, but more."
"They help us build nuclear plants. They run them for us, provide cheap power."
"Yes, but there's still more.."
"They give us quick infusion of American dollars. Gold. Gadgets and videos."
"Yes, yes, they'll give you all that and more. Especially one thing more."
"I already said no to all that. Even gadgets and videos. What more does USA have to offer?"
"Disneyland."
"Disneyland?"
"Disneyland. Disneyland Pyongyang, to be precise. And not just an equal to Anaheim or Orlando either. Disneyland Pyongyang would be bigger and better than both of them put together. Bigger rides. Twice the fun. Shorter lines.."
"Lines?"
"What am I saying? No lines for the Dear Leader, of course."
"General Secretary of Worker's Party."
"Right. Just lines for millions of Chinese, South Koreans and Japanese visitors. All with lots of money to spend. Bill Clinton says if you act today, USA will throw in 40 world class 18-hole golf courses. That's 720 holes."
"Is that so?"
"It is so. And just think, Dear General, Number One Son will no longer have to run off to that tiny Disneyland in Tokyo anymore. The best will be right here at home. So, what do you say, Kim? Is it a deal?"
"Hmmm. Let me think about it."
"This offer won't stay on the table long, you know. Next week we start boarding your ships."
"Tell you what. Tell Bill Clinton we want a Hollywood, too. Then we have a deal."
"I'll get back to you."