Life Caused By Virus

Scientists from Stanford University have released the results of a decade long study on a virus they believe to be the cause of all life on planet Earth. The virus, shown above, has scientists the world over perplexed as to how a living organism can precede life and they wonder as to its origin. At a hastily arranged press conference at the School of Medicine in Palo Alto, the team of researchers, headed by Dr. Samson Schlagel, met Monday with reporters and physicians to answer some of their key concerns. Dr. Schlagel explained that "Virulence is tricky. Often inorganic elements combine in such a way as to create neo-organic matter. Nefarious forces affect these neo-organics and enzymes become viral. It happens rarely, but when it does, watch out." According to the Stanford research team, this happened in the early stages of our planet's development. Volcanism and ultra-violet rays played a role, and the team hasn't ruled out the idea of a fully developed virus arriving from outside of our solar system. "Wherever the virus came from," said Dr. Schlagel, "we are convinced that life is viral. This might explain its persistent ability to adapt and evolve to a more and more challenging environment. It also might explain mankinds willingness to destroy the planet, to kill our host, so to speak, in order to move on to broader vistas and new challenges." Dr. Schlagel added that further research is needed.