R.I.P.

We gather here today to bid farewell to a man who did so many for so much.

To be an assassin is a lonely job. There is no one there to hold your hand as you aim your weapon; no one there to put an arm around your shoulder as you squeeze the trigger. No, no one comforted Jebadiah Talabagian, but no one made him muff the shot, either.

A loyal employee of Sid Greenbaum's numbers racket by day, Jebadiah made a kil.... a small fortune at night, filling contracts and eliminating problems with his M40-A1, complete with night vision scope. In doing so, he won the admiration, envy and eventual wrath of his peers.

Jebadiah leaves behind his mother, Murtha; his ex-wife Wilma; and his dog, Bowser. He will be missed by all who knew and loved him. Those who didn't, won't. Or anyway didn't.