Saturday, January 31, 2009

face transplant

Kip Rumple's was the very first face transplant.
It didn't take.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Ponce de León

Columbus told Ferdie and Izzie of the Tainos, a peaceloving tribe willing to share all they had. So on his return to Hispaniola, each tribe member was required to pay a tribute in gold or cotton to Spain or die.

For some reason the peaceful Tainos of Borinquen, or Puerto Rico, did not like this arrangement. Nor did they care for the manner in which the new governor, Juan Ponce de León, forced them to grow crops for Spain and mine gold for Spain and die of smallpox for Spain, and so alligned with neighboring tribes in revolt. The governor violently disagreed.

And so to dispatch him from their presence, it was then that the Tainos told Ponce de León about the Fountain of Youth to be found in the land to the west.

Okay, that last part is a lie. In fact, the story of life restoring waters is altogether a fiction and a legend. Juan Ponce de León did sail to Florida, but not in search of any fountain. It was gold he was after. That fabulous sign of wealth that brought poverty and death to so many.

But was he the first Spaniard to reach Florida? Most likely not. It's believed the slave traders beat him there.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Automuton slammer

Binary Kwikward, Automuton poet,
in shuffle-recharge mode prior to rant spill.


If your house is a shambles, he'll clean it. If it's clean, he'll muss it up. So, keep things in general disarray and you'll get along.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Happy Chinese New Year!

I couldn't find a water buffalo, so I got you the next best thing:
a stylized zebu.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Happy 250th, Robert Burns

from Tam O'Shanter:

...As Tammie glowr'd, amaz'd, and curious,
The mirth and fun grew fast and furious;
The piper loud and louder blew;
The dancers quick and quicker flew;
They reel'd, they set, they cross'd, they cleekit,
Till ilka carlin swat and reekit,
And coost her duddies to the wark,
And linket at it her sark...

The man could turn on a dime, couldn't he?

droll diver

Saturday, January 24, 2009


Tending his flock, Ganymede looked up and beheld an eagle bearing down on him, talons outstretched. He was borne off to Mount Olympus, there to be made eternal plaything of Zeus. He doubled as bartender.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


arborist displaying dieback affectation

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Monday, January 19, 2009

spirit guide

not amused by the proclivity of of the well-churched to label as demons

Sunday, January 18, 2009

that Scovill kid

Every cop in this town knows where that Scovill kid is heading.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Morton Salt Boy

a failed concept

Friday, January 16, 2009


in Branson Come Back garb, circa 1997

Thursday, January 15, 2009


His all-consuming passion got the better of him.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The New Number Six

Replaces the old Number Six,
who is no longer a number;
he is a free man.

RIP Patrick McGoohan
1928 - 2009

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Snap! baked, Pop! conducted, and Crackle!
just grooved on life's little ironies.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Dr. Lao

Marvelous mythological circus in tow, Dr. Lao bores the pants off residents Abalone, AZ.

Sunday, January 11, 2009


The seventh sister and the faintest to glow in the Pleiades, due to her shame for marrying that cunning mortal rogue, Sisyphus.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Head of Major Clapman-Lee

preserved in a vat of reptilian cell tissue


We inherited this lovely cameo from Aunt Lydia after she passed last year. She was quite fond of it.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Vera Carp

Upstanding Tunite.
Member of the Prayer Posse
and Smut-Snatchers of the New Order.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Friday, January 02, 2009

Thursday, January 01, 2009