face transplant

Kip Rumple's was the very first face transplant.
It didn't take.

Zen Milo

Ponce de León

Columbus told Ferdie and Izzie of the Tainos, a peaceloving tribe willing to share all they had. So on his return to Hispaniola, each tribe member was required to pay a tribute in gold or cotton to Spain or die.

For some reason the peaceful Tainos of Borinquen, or Puerto Rico, did not like this arrangement. Nor did they care for the manner in which the new governor, Juan Ponce de León, forced them to grow crops for Spain and mine gold for Spain and die of smallpox for Spain, and so alligned with neighboring tribes in revolt. The governor violently disagreed.

And so to dispatch him from their presence, it was then that the Tainos told Ponce de León about the Fountain of Youth to be found in the land to the west.

Okay, that last part is a lie. In fact, the story of life restoring waters is altogether a fiction and a legend. Juan Ponce de León did sail to Florida, but not in search of any fountain. It was gold he was after. That fabulous sign of wealth that brought poverty and death to so many.

But was he the first Spaniard to reach Florida? Most likely not. It's believed the slave traders beat him there.

Botryoidal Goiter Boy

Automuton slammer

Binary Kwikward, Automuton poet,

in shuffle-recharge mode prior to rant spill.

hobthrust

If your house is a shambles, he'll clean it. If it's clean, he'll muss it up. So, keep things in general disarray and you'll get along.

Happy Chinese New Year!

I couldn't find a water buffalo, so I got you the next best thing:
a stylized zebu.

Happy 250th, Robert Burns

from Tam O'Shanter:

...As Tammie glowr'd, amaz'd, and curious,
The mirth and fun grew fast and furious;
The piper loud and louder blew;
The dancers quick and quicker flew;
They reel'd, they set, they cross'd, they cleekit,
Till ilka carlin swat and reekit,
And coost her duddies to the wark,
And linket at it her sark...

The man could turn on a dime, couldn't he?

droll diver

Ganymede

Tending his flock, Ganymede looked up and beheld an eagle bearing down on him, talons outstretched. He was borne off to Mount Olympus, there to be made eternal plaything of Zeus. He doubled as bartender.

arborist

arborist displaying dieback affectation

peode badass

1-20-09

spirit guide

not amused by the proclivity of of the well-churched to label as demons

that Scovill kid

Every cop in this town knows where that Scovill kid is heading.

Morton Salt Boy

a failed concept

Elvis

in Branson Come Back garb, circa 1997

passion

His all-consuming passion got the better of him.

The New Number Six

Replaces the old Number Six,
who is no longer a number;
he is a free man.

RIP Patrick McGoohan
1928 - 2009

Crackle

Snap! baked, Pop! conducted, and Crackle!
just grooved on life's little ironies.

Dr. Lao

Marvelous mythological circus in tow, Dr. Lao bores the pants off residents Abalone, AZ.

Merope

The seventh sister and the faintest to glow in the Pleiades, due to her shame for marrying that cunning mortal rogue, Sisyphus.

Head of Major Clapman-Lee

preserved in a vat of reptilian cell tissue

cameo

We inherited this lovely cameo from Aunt Lydia after she passed last year. She was quite fond of it.

Inferius

Dude

The Dude Abides

Philo Kvetch

Pescasapien

Patersquid

Vera Carp

Upstanding Tunite.
Member of the Prayer Posse
and Smut-Snatchers of the New Order.

The Baby Who Next Ruled the World

Lonnie Crumb

Bided his time while he bode ill will.

sedimentality

wtf

squirrel nut

paranoid pet

Finn

pawn

Joker

2009 hi