John Adams

Born into nothing's how Adams saw it; a man should make of himself what he will. A nation of such men will suffice. Good rhetoric in a time of revolution.

Then he became veep and fretted over what George should be called: His Majesty or his Lordship. And, as president, he signed into law the Alien & Sedition Acts. He also cracked down on those who would deign to criticize the Federalists. In this way, Adams, not Washington, became the true father of the country. A father who knew how to instill fear in his children in order to have his way.

Abigail was nice, though.

Fossil Demi-God

Fossil demi-god in lesser Bloodstone ore mined from Drywhisker Gorge.

Vinnie Falsetto

Meanwhile, in Hoboken, Vinnie's boys were collecting their share. Eight Fingers Massinelli was leaning on the Koreans hard. Enough so's the prosecutor had to take notice. Lucky Salzone gets the inside ear and clues Vinnie in on the law's intent. So Vinnie takes a powder, but his nephew Lennie happens to take a prime time perp walk about the same time as Tiny gets collared for something he didn't even do - can you believe it? - which was, you know, to arrange something, let it go at that. So Vinnie had to stay gone an extra month. Jeez Louise.

Jersey Devil

The Pineys still tell of a long-necked, bat winged, cloven hooved specter that appears out of nowhere and attacks. People, pets & poultry, don't matter what. It might look something like this.

Pietro Ratucci

Florentine artiste,
gadfly,
quaffer of café,
part time paparazzi,
would be gigolo.

Coyote Led Sheep

People required of their messenger god he deliver them dreams. And no ordinary dreams, either, but great blustering epics. They didn't know or care how heavy the dreams were or how difficult they were to smuggle across the border; they just wanted their bloated dreams.

And he knew the way. So they paid him - a trickster - to guide them. They thought the briars and vines were laid to trap and trip them, but it was Hermes they should have been worried about. He was the one shouldering their dreams. When they came to a gate in the fog, they knew there was only one of two destinations before them..

B. Bolinski

Buddy Bolinski, barkeep at the Neighborhood Bar. He'd be forced to cut off his brother Bo Bo at a certain point, turn him out the way you would a cat. Bo Bo would roll his tire on home.

The Fate of Harry Potter

Surely, by now, you've read ahead in the Deathly Hallows to learn the fate of our dear Harry Potter. If not, let me tell you how it ends.

Harry defeats evil Lord Voldemort, graduates with honors from Hogwarts, trains to be a computer programmer at City College of London and settles down in Chiswick. He renounces witchcraft entirely, but continues to follow the daily Quidditch scores in the Mirror.

Sorry if I spoiled it for you.

Protesters' Swag To Pay For War

Do these missives ever get political? Only off-handedly so. Still, Tuesday's executive order signed into law by Mad King George granting the U.S. Government the right to seize the assets of individuals "undermining efforts to promote economic reconstruction and political reform in Iraq" - which could be taken to mean protesting such reforms, or simply speaking out against them - is just too much Fascism to ignore. In saying this, I guess I'm laying it all on the line, along with about eighty percent of my fellow Americans. So, here it is, George; come and get it.

Kid Flash

The Flash was giving his girlfriend's nephew a tour of the forensic lab when lightning laid the kid low, zapping him with just the right mixture of chemicals to turn little Wally West into Kid Flash.

That's how sidekicks are born.

The Kid's penchant for Turkish Taffy and root beer floats made him not much in the speed department. Light left him in the dust; eventually he could only keep up with sound.

Worthless anymore as a sidekick, the Kid found himself a member of a gang at thirteen, the Teen Titans. Fellow sidekick gangsters Robin, AquaLad and Wonder Girl let him tag along out of pity.

Eventually, time travel took its toll on Kid Flash. One day, catching sight of himself in a vortex mirror, he came to the realization that he wasn't a kid any longer. He shed his mask, donated his superpowers to science, and joined the army.

Eldon Shawn

Forty years ago today, Eldon Shawn entered the Regency Street studio of Dexter Philpot, sat down at the piano and banged out that grand anthem, "Burn Down Old Michigan." Luckily, Dexter had turned on the tape recorder, so a generation was to be "turned on" to a new "sound."

Unfortunately, around the same time, a group simply called "The Group" was putting the finishing touches on their own generational anthem, simply called "The Night They Burned Old Delaware Down." It was to rocket to Number One and stay there for seventeen weeks, so depriving Mr. Shawn of his rightful glory. His song did make it to number six one week, however.

SNAFUs Delay Game

The need for back up, wipe out and clean install on my computer has kept me from posting for the past four days. Things weren't so much lost as totally discombobulated, but it's mostly all patched up now and ready to go. My little freaks and I will be back in a flea jump.

In Sub-Order Wardination

Reverend Feenie proved committedly cultish.

Yup'ik Icon

Yup'ik talisman depicting Squamikitut, spirit dwelling in a limbo world between life and death, as well as sleep and wakefulness.

It was carved from a gastrolith, or 'gizzard stone.' These were swallowed by birds to grind tough buds and seeds, making them digestible. Such stones were seen to hold divinatory power by Yup'ik shamans. Grouse and ptarmigan would yield up the stones, the shaman would read and carve them, then swallow or have them swallowed in turn. Stories of dreams and the afterlife were so rendered.

(Please be aware that this is not true in the least.)

Talking Head

Why hire both a color commentator and a play-by-play announcer when you can rent the services of just one of our ColorPlay Talking Heads for your next sporting event? They're a voluble asset on the football field, pure composed restraint on the golf links.

ColorPlay: Giving You the Rundown.

Simon

Don't you think Simon was a happier guy before the acid spill?

35 Years Ago

Thirty five years ago today I rode a hearse to Hawk & Handsaw, took up a glass cutter and repaired my first stained glass window. Thanks, Brother Bill, for the instruction, short as it was. Thanks, Uncle John, for the opportunity. Thanks Danny, Lynn, Marla & Beanhead. Thanks, Chicago.

Guru

This guy was one of the survivors. I must be more like him. He doesn't sweat the small stuff.

Losing Face

Was mightily upset this morning to find hundreds of unposted little digital faces I have made in the last eight months and stored in iPhoto 6 have up and disappeared. Vanished. Did I back them up, you ask, knowing full well I did not.

If I can't retrieve them, there's still the original faces. I'll run 'em through a second time. Wish I had tweaking recipes.

Firefly

Golly! This new macro lens is amazing! Who would have thought fireflies had faces?

Hatshepsu

Her father, Thutmose 1, skewered the Nubian king and built the Temple of Karnak.

Her half-brother and husband, Thutmose 2, didn't do much outside of marrying her.

She was Hatshepsut when she was a girl; Hatshepsu when she went male and became Pharoah. While Thutmose 3 cut his teeth, Hatshepsu minded the throne. She ruled Egypt for twenty two years, establishing expeditions and erecting edifices. Obelisks arose at the Temple of Karnak. She had built the mighty Djeser-Djeseru in the Valley of the Kings. Her giant bearded likeness guarded the place, an nth degree Parthenon a millenium earlier. There she lay mummified at the top of the heap.

Until, that is, Thutmose 3 grew to rule. He shuffled sarcophagi to restore his father to the apex. Then he set about to build his own temples and such, in between war campaigns. Late in his reign he deigned to try to destroy all Hatshepsut's likenesses, to erase her any vestige and secure his own son's sovereignty. History was re-written, then decoded centuries later. Now she has returned.

Long live the dead queen.