Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Menehune

are the little people of ancient Hawaii who sought shelter in the mountains and the forests from later and larger Polynesians. Their last refuge was on Necker Island, treeless but birdful, where they built stone structures that pointed skyward. One day, they changed to birdmen and flew off toward Rapa Nui.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Saturday, December 27, 2008

the drowned girl

Each summer brought with it the dread that I'd finally come face to face with the drowned girl.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Tiny Tim

They were not a handsome family; they were not well dressed; their shoes were far from being water-proof; their clothes were scanty; and Peter might have known, and very likely did, the inside of a pawnbroker's. But, they were happy, grateful, pleased with one another, and contented with the time; and when they faded, and looked happier yet in the bright sprinklings of the Spirit's torch at parting, Scrooge had his eye upon them, and especially on Tiny Tim, until the last.

Shadows of the things that would have been, may be dispelled.
If courses be departed from, ends will change.
The writing on the stone, may be sponged away.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Scrooge

Scrooge thought he saw a locomotive hearse going on before him in the gloom...
Nobody under the table, nobody under the sofa...
Nobody under the bed, nobody in the closet...
Scrooge followed to the window, desperate in his curiosity. He looked out.
The air was filled with phantoms, wandering hither and thither in restless haste, and moaning as they went....
Every one of them wore chains like Marley's Ghost; some few (they might be guilty governments) were linked together; none were free....
Whether these creatures faded into mist, or mist enshrouded them, he could not tell.
But they and their spirit voices faded together; and the night became as it had been...
Scrooge closed the window, and examined the door by which the Ghost had entered. It was double-locked, as he had locked it with his own hands, and the bolts were undisturbed.
He tried to say "Humbug!" but stopped at the first syllable.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Ghost of Christmas Yet To Be

Oh cold, cold, rigid, dreadful Death, set up thine altar here, and dress it with such terrors as thou hast at thy command: for this is thy dominion.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Ghost of Christmas Past

So the figure itself fluctuated in its distinctness: being now a thing with one arm, now with one leg, now with twenty legs, now a pair of legs without a head, now a head without a body: of which dissolving parts, no outline would be visible in the dense gloom wherein they melted away. And in the very wonder of this, it would be itself again; distinct and clear as ever.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Marley

He wore the chain he had forged in life. It was made of cash-boxes, keys, padlocks, ledgers, deeds, and heavy purses wrought in steel. In life his spirit never roved beyond the narrow limits of his money-changing hole. Now, he was doomed to wander through the world and witness what he could not share, but might have shared on earth and turned to happiness. Such was, woe is he!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Wilbur

One day Wilbur woke up, looked in the mirror, and found his imaginary friend was not as imaginary as he thought.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Monday, December 15, 2008

petrototem

While the Anasazi were better known for their petroglyphs than their petrototems, this is a fine, if ideated example of the latter. Here we see beneath a cliff dwelling a man looking left and a trickster vulture looking right. Surely, this must mean something.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Merlin

Besnockered by the Lady of the Lake, Merlin contemplates arboreal bondage.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Car Czar

The position of the new federal Auto Czar has been sold to the highest bidder, Morton Motokorp.

Friday, December 05, 2008

slum doll

"...that talker could really turn a tip. Lured chump change from townies like nobody's bidness....

"Ain't like the lugans didn't get nothin' out of it though. Got to impress their molls with their chops. Gave 'em something to do on a Thursday night. Sometimes even won 'em something like this here slum I picked up on the lot after the show pulled up. Ain't much, but what do you want for two bits?"

Milo 8

smug Milo

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Rat Race

This Skaven means you no good, especially if you are human.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Lady of Fátima

Lúcia and her cousins claimed Our Lady would appear again, this time to all, on October 13, 1917. And to the thousands who flocked to the spot and to many kilometers away, she did. Or something did. Something whirling and shifting; the sun, aflame, orange, yellow, purple, red, the sky alive. Something.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Yardley

Yardley's twin brother died six years ago. Yardley visited the grave every day for five of those years. Last year, for the sake of convenience, they switched places.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Zaphod Beeblebrox

He's just this guy, you know?
One hoopy frood.
(This is his better head.)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008

Morgue Arrival L

It appears subject's Adam's apple became erect, requiring tracheotomy. Instead, he was run over by a threshing machine.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

ADD/SAD Scanners Sought

Schools are rushing to be equipped with the new portable scanners that can detect Attention Deficit and Season Affective Disorders in students' brains. Here, a clearly affected child is color coded using the new technology.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Optimus Prime Meridian

Eventually, he'll take on the Decepticons.
In the mean time, he'll set the clocks.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Uncle Ralph

Thanksgiving is next week. We'll see Uncle Ralph again. Hope he brings his spit can.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Pirates Hijack Space Station

Somalian pirates, under the command of legendary marauder, Abu Kathar, have hijacked the International Space Station and are currently steering it and its crew to the port of Eyl.

It is believed Kathar and his band of buccaneers were stowaways on board the shuttle Endeavor, which docked with the space station yesterday. All astronauts on board both vessels are said to be safe and unharmed.

No ransom demands have yet been made, although Kathar, in preliminary communication with NASA, has reportedly made inquiries into the Troubled Asset Relief Program, saying if there's money available to bail out the 'Big Three' automakers, there should be money to pay for the space station.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Saturday, November 15, 2008

chupaconejo

The lack of pointy incisors leads me to believe this is, in fact, a chupaconejo; part chupacabra, part rabbit.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Hera

Eaten and vomited by her father. Sister and (what the hell) wife to Zeus. A generally pissed off goddess. Tricked and tortured Zeus's many mistresses, turning them into all manner of creatures. Annoyed Heracles, her stepson, to no end. Worshiped in temples for eons by mortals with an axe to grind.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Midas

When food and drink went gold on touch, Midas got his servants to feed him. They'd hold up a turkey leg for him to chew, or pour wine down his gullet. Clumsy, but doable.

Sex was a problem at first. Just ask the queen. Uh, never mind, she can't answer. His concubines adjusted, however.

What got him into trouble in the end was that infernal childhood habit of picking his nose.