Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Gallery of Icons 1

And so we've arrived at the heart of the thing, the pulsating center of gravity. Command central for the site.
~~door creaks open~~
After you. Don't worry, I'm right behind you.
~~door slams shut~~
Never mind that.
We are in the Gallery of Icons. This is home for all our forgotten lesser gods and goddesses, demi, semi and pseudo gods, our archangels and saints of yesteryore. There's even a few rare mortals of presumed note here.

You'll notice to the left of you the most disagreeable countenance of Kalamackannoy, ruler of paper cups and charm bracelets. He, she or it was once a mortal of not much more intelligence than you, if you can imagine. Some simple deed along the way exalted him, her or it in the eyes of some third level bureaucrat god, and whammo! Instant deification of the lowest order. Not thrilled to be put in charge of picayunity, Kalamackannoy rebelled and attempted to form a demigod union. Naturally, this didn't go over too well upstairs, so before you could say keistermeister, Kalamackannoy was demoted to the charge of slug gloves, not a lucrative appointment, if you catch my drift.

A better fate was in store for the fellow on the right. Yoda Grumpelion was born into semigodular nobility, but he never let it go to his head. Just one of the guys he was, back home. His humility won him praises from his higher-ups and he, too, learned one day he was to become a made god. Summoned to Asgard, (or was it Olympus?) he fell down in supplication before the agency what summoned him forth. That protoplasmic entity floated and glowed and pronounced "Yoda: God." To which Yoda answered "No. Yoda God." The blob proclaimed "No, no. Yoda....GOD!" And Yoda replied "YODA God!" It went on like that for several minutes and might have gone on for several eons had not the ball of light suddenly exploded in hysterical gaffawery. So greatly amused was he that Yoda was named Jedi Master and banished to Dagobah.

That's it for today's graven images. Come back tomorrow. Bring cash.

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