Sunday, March 05, 2006

Beach Find

A rare dog-nosed spiny piscasaur was found washed ashore last Thursday on an Antiguan beach in the Leeward Islands. Its genus (nasocanus piscasaurus) has long been assumed extinct.

Ichthyologists from around the world have gathered in St. Johns, the capital of the small island in the West Indies, to study the creature. Although dead, the piscasaur was alive for sixteen hours following its discovery, time enough to be studied by a local veterinarian, Everton Holder. Holder, in a press conference on Friday, revealed the animal made "very unusual sounds" for some time prior to succumbing. When pressed for details, Holder said "It was panting and wheezing when I first came upon it, but as I approached, it fell silent. It looked up at me with a mournful expresion and - I swear - nodded its head and shook its fins. And it then began to... sing. There's no other way to describe it to you. It started singing a sort of croaking funeral dirge. Each time it sang a line, its tail would flop. Another line, it would flop the other way. It was uncanny."

Noted British ichthyologist, Nigel Pennythwacker, surmised the nasocanus piscasaurus, unlike its cousin, the common spiny piscasaur, is both intelligent and sensitive. On studying the song as relayed by Holder, Pennythwacker became convinced this was no Billy Bass; the music of the dog-nosed spiny piscasaur was in fact 'Down in the Bottom' by Howlin' Wolf.

Many acclaimed blues musicologists have also booked flights for Antigua and Dr. Holder's appointment calendar is currently filled up. His manager has begun arranging a tour for later in the spring.

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